It's not by accident that I haven't written an article about The Polyamory Experiment™ in about 4 months. Things have been too hectic to give it a lot of thought, I pushed it off, to the back of my mind and ignored it for a while.
Despite my best efforts, there continues to be constant movement under the surface. Although the process of moving across the country has pushed poly somewhat to the back burner, it lingers there, always scratching gently and waiting for my attention.
I have continued to fight and claw and struggle against my insecurities. I've talked until I have no words left. I've read and studied everything I can find on dealing with jealousy. I have spent a LOT of personal quiet time, just mulling everything over, churning it 'round in my brain until I develop a headache.
Progress has been made, although Jack has not yet had sex with another woman. Part of that is due to circumstance (he's been working like crazy for months) and part of it is due to his worry over potentially causing a tremendous fracture to our relationship.
Currently though we are right on the cusp of leaping off of that cliff and seeing what happens at the bottom.
As I was gathering my thoughts to write this, the most amazing thing happened. A new Polyamory Weekly podcast popped up on my RSS reader. Wouldn't you know, it was a special about jealousy! So I hit play and settled back to listen, and then began taking notes. I think that the Cunning Minx just changed my life, and the way that I process my jealous feelings. Please allow me to share with you what I wrote down from the show:
Nobody's
Angel; June 30, 2007
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